How To Deal With Grief Over An Empty Nest

It's strange to think that your kid has grown up. It seems as if it was only yesterday that you brought them home, wrapped up in a little blanket. While time may have seemed to go slow, you look back on it wondering how it all went so fast.

They are leaving home for the first time and now you're experiencing what is known as empty nest syndrome. While empty nest syndrome is not something you can be diagnosed with, it does have a very real effect on mental health. Even if you have other children living at home, you can't help but feel as if your home is empty without the one who is moving out.

Maybe they are approaching their freshman year of college or they are getting their first apartment. In either case, dealing with this is something that a lot of parents commonly struggle with. Here are some tips on how to deal with the grief that comes when you are experiencing this transition.

Remember, You Are Still A Parent

Even if your kids are not living at home anymore, it doesn't mean that you aren't a parent. An important step to dealing with the grief you are experiencing is that it doesn't change the parental relationship you have with your kid. Sure, things will certainly change now that they are no longer living underneath your roof. But that doesn't mean that you are no longer a parent.

Even though they may be gaining their independence, that doesn't mean your job as a parent will be done. Right now, they are testing the waters and trying to make it on their own. Maybe they will come to you for advice right away or maybe they won't at first. But we typically find that even as kids get older, they will still need their parents for advice and guidance. It might not be in the ways you are used to, but it will happen.

Think Of This As A New Time To Discover Who You Are

When you first became a parent, it changed you. Not in a bad way, but it forced you to become a different person than who you were prior to having a child. Now that your kid is moving out, it is a perfect time to rediscover who you are.

When you are dealing with the grief that comes with a child moving out, finding new ways to entertain yourself and bring some happiness back into your life can help. Pick up a new hobby that you have always wanted to try. Or that book you have been trying to read for months now.

Just as your child is discovering who they are outside of your home, you will be doing the same thing.

They Are Likely Feeling Scared, Even If They Won't Admit It

Moving out of a parent's house for the first time can be exciting. But, truthfully, most young adults embarking on a new journey of freedom are scared. They won't always admit it out loud, but they are probably experiencing a lot of anxiety over this change. Wanting to be an adult and feeling like a grown-up are two completely different things.

As a parent, it can help to know that they are also grieving for the past that they are leaving behind. Uncertain about the future and what it will bring. Let them know how you are feeling and they may just open up to you about their own fears and hesitations.

When you are experiencing grief over a life transition such as a child moving out, it can be really challenging to cope with it. As a licensed therapist, I am here to help you or your child through this period, connect with me to find out more.